I agree that women do have a thirst for medical knowledge. My sister and sister in laws call to ask questions when their kids get sick and 9 times out of 10, if they tell me the symptoms their child is having and I ask a few questions, I can diagnose the problem and direct what they need to do to get the child better. Croup, Rotavirus, RSV, Strep throat. The potential for helping just our own families is great, but like you mentioned, the chance to alleviate suffering in third world countries is enormous.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE being an MFP!!!! (Thanks for your enthusiasm DoctorC!)

Now that my general training is over (phew!) I’ve been contemplating if I should seek more training…and I probably will. But there’s a time to every season, right? For now, what I’m doing is perfect for me and the right thing for us…

Looking for how I an LDS man like myself can get in touch with LDS female doctors for socializing, etc. Thank you. Don (South Dakota

Nice D, you are attracting interest from all over the states… referring to the previous comment.

What a beautiful posting. You are a wonderful doctor.. and make some fabulous points. Always insightful and thought provoking in your postings. It is an intriguing field to me, and yet something I cannot fully stomach, or handle emotionally. I guess you get better at it the longer you are around it.

What a strong person you are… so blessed to know you. Hope you and D are well.

Mindi, thanks for the comment! It was a post written by one of the contributors – she is a most excellent physician.

Don, thank you for your comments. We always appreciate those who follow the blog.

I am not a physician, but do have a thirst for medical knowledge like you discussed and I love that quote by Brigham Young. I enjoyed reading a bit of the blog today and hope to come back to read more soon. What a great idea for a blog!

Hey! I am an LDS female currently in undergrad school, and I am contemplating going into medical. I was wondering if you could tell me about how you balance your worklife with your family life? I am really interested in medicine and applied research, but I’m hesitant to go into a medical career because I am afraid that I will not be able to have a family and be a good mother. I want children, and I want a loving family, but I also want to become a doctor. Can you give me any insights?

Thanks,

Karyn

Hello Karyn,

I’ll be sure to check with the author (DoctorC) if she received your comment so she can respond to you.

I will say that I firmly believe you can be a wonderful Physician, spouse, and Mother! I might be a little biased since I am currently all three. In fact all of our authors fit into this profile (or will very soon fit into this profile).

There will be times that juggling all three roles at once will be more than challenging, but there are many women (who served as our mentors) who demonstrate that it can be done!

I’m spending time studying Elder Todd Christofferson’s address Reflections on a Consecrated Life.
http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1298-6,00.html
I hope it will bring some personal insight into your own life as you contemplate your path towards Medicine. My only suggestion to you is to live by the Spirit. That is what each one of us tried to do when we worried about the same things you are questioning now.

DC 90:24
Search diligently, pray always, and be believing; All things shall work together for your good.

Good luck!

Dear Karyn,

As I read what you wrote I think of me at that point in my life. There was a time when I prayed and told Heavenly Father that if I had to choose between being a wife and a doctor, that I would absolutely choose to be a wife. Then I told Him that if I had to choose between being a wife and mother and being a doctor, that I would absolutely choose to be a wife and mother. Then, I told Him that if I could be all three…and then I didn’t need to complete my thought in my prayer because that is when I felt the Spirit. I knew that was an answer.

Did I still have times of questioning? Definitely. I still do at times. I now have a little daughter who is 14 months old. My husband stays home with her. I never wanted it that way… but that is the way it is. Heavenly Father knows what we are capable of and what we need. He has a better plan for our lives than we do. I am happy at work – I don’t worry about my daughter. My husband is wonderful and EXTREMELY supportive (I had to wait a LONG, LONG time to find him…). There are days I don’t see my daughter. Most days I see her for about an hour then put her to bed. My life consists of little else besides being a resident (still in residency…..), being a mother and being a wife. My husband definitely sacrifices – he gets little time with me and little time away from home because we only have one car right now and I use it every day.

As far as juggling it all – there are things that give. Outside of what I outlined above, the activities in my life are few and far between. I don’t go to RS meetings, I told my ward that I CAN’T give a shower for the girl I visit teach. I am not perfect at all the other things we are “supposed” to do. But, there are seasons for everything. Right now it is my responsibility to learn my profession. That’s just how it is. At the same time, I KNOW that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, that I am where the Lord wants me. I have no doubt.

Di hit it right on when she said that the most important thing is to follow the Spirit. Heavenly Father has guided me every step of the way. I wouldn’t be here if it were not for the miracles He has worked in my life. We have talents for a reason. We are to develop them and use them to bless the lives of others. There are a lot of people around us who have no idea the extent of sacrifice it takes to do what we do. You just have to make your priorities and stick to them. All the extra stuff just falls out of your life.

I feel that I am a good mother. I think my career and example will bless the lives of my children. My husband is pretty independent and likes the fact that I have other things to occupy my time rather than telling him 20 times a day how much I love him. : ) I too am very interested in research – I’m sure it will be a part of my career – I’m not sure what my career will look like when I’m all done with training and settled in – but I do know that it will all work out. Heavenly Father has taken me on a journey of interesting twists and turns. There have been what I thought were false starts etc, but now it is coming clear and I see how my experiences fit together perfectly to lead me to my next step (and hopefully the last) in my training. He will continue to work out the details. I have no doubt.

Dear sister – my advice is this. Follow the desires of your heart because they are there for a reason. This includes being a wife and being a mother and being a doctor if that is what Heavenly Father has in store for you. Pray and tell Him what is in your heart. Ask for His guidance. Then follow the Spirit. Live so you will be able to listen….

May you be blessed in your pursuits!!!

Hey, I don’t know if you’ll be notified that I replied to this ancient blog post of yours, but I just wanted to let you know how much this post has inspired me.

I’m 18 years old and getting ready to graduate high school. I’ve been hoping to go into Pre-med for a while, but I recently started worry about what people would think of me being Mormon AND female AND a doctor. I worried about having a family life and a spiritual life, and I worried that there would be nobody else like me to reach out to for support.
And then I found your little website here and I feel so much relief to know that so many amazing women are out there living the kind of life I want to live! I know it’ll be hard, and I know it’ll probably make me cry and tear my hair out in frustration, but being a doctor is my dream – and your inspiration may just help me do it.

Now I just have to make the college decision. Oy.

Anyway, just saying that I am so so so glad that I have such strong women to look up to. Thank you, Internet!

Ash,

Just ten minutes ago I read a comment on a woman’s t-shirt that said:

“Be the doctor your mother wanted you to marry.”

Thought you might like to read that.

Hey Ash,

So glad you found us! If you ever have any questions – send them our way. You’re not alone. I remember a Young Womens leader (from my teen years) questioning me later when I had gotten engaged to be married – she said very matter-of-factly, ‘so you’re not going to go to medical school right?’ It was really hard for me not to feel hurt and frustrated by the underlying tone of judgement by someone whose opinion I valued. But through my own relationship with God I learned for myself what the right path was for me. Often I think of Lot’s wife – and Elder Holland’s address – to look forward and be believing that the future holds more promise than you dare to imagine. Enjoy the rest of high school (I did!) and college (I loved being an EFY counselor during my college years!) and then med school, etc…

Ecclesiastes 3:1
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

Hi! I’m so happy that I found this. I was pondering just last night about being an LDS mother and a wife and a doctor, and thought, there’s gotta be something on the web for sure, I mean, there’s gotta be women that have done this. And I found this post.
I’m a convert, I met my husband (who introduced me to the cuhrch) a little over two years ago while we were on a study abroad… I was on my 7th semester of med school. I’m from Mexico, he is from the US and we’ve been married for 6 months.
The situation is hard right now, we had to put school on pause for 2 semesters now while we’re figuring out how we’re gonna finish, it’s hard to get into med school in the US and keep all what you’ve done unless you start all over again, ’cause it’s different the way they do it in both countries. Husband’s been supportive and we’re trying to get me into a school that is somewhat linked with US hospitals but here in Mexico, but we don’t know yet what’s gonna happen. I’d have at least 3 years left here.
Sometimes I really wonder if it’s worth it, him waiting to get his carreer done so I can be a doctor, I wonder what’s gonna happen when we have kids and I’ll be [hopefully] still a resident. But I feel like I can’t give up now. How did you do it, being pregnant and still at school or being a resident? I’m sure it’s possible but I get so scared when I think about that. It’s nice to know there are women out there that feel or felt the same way, and that it can be done.
I hope I can talk to you more!

Hello Anai,

So happy you found us! I will be sure to have the author of this particular post send you a note. Some of the challenges you mentioned are not unusual – such as trying to balance the pursuit of two careers. President Hinckley encouraged us to be ‘equally-yoked’ in our marriages which serves as a reminder for both partners to be supportive of each other as you work together (in education, service, career, family, etc..).

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=ab1a88f17feae010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&sourceId=1f7f938154b7a110VgnVCM100000176f620aRCRD&topic=Education&vgnextoid=23bd6f3d78dd9110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD

I know this is an old post, but I’m glad I found it. I have often wondered if I was one of the only female, married, mormon medical students in the country. It can be really alienating at times, so it is exciting to know that there are others out there. I’m currently a 3rd year at the University of Arizona COM planning to do a residency in OB-GYN and my husband and I are contemplating having a baby during 4th year. I was wondering if anyone else had children in their 4th year and what it was like balancing residency and a baby at home. My husband is extremely supportive and willing to stay at home but that is not our ideal. We are hoping to move closer to family to complete residency (Seattle). How realistic is it to anticipate getting my first match choice? Any tips on this front? Thanks so much!

-Lindsay

A team of doctoral level psychology students near San Francisco, CA are conducting a study on the lives of LDS women who are both career professionals as well as mothers of a child(ren) between the ages of birth – 12 years. We’d love to hear from anyone in the medical field!

Women who choose to participate will commit to a single in-person interview at the location of their choosing or participate on-line via anonymous / confidential journal-type reflections. Participants should be married with at least one child at home who is 12 years of age or younger. Women should self- identify as LDS, qualify for a current temple recommend, and currently be working outside of the home 30 or more hours a week. (We consider residency as work)

If you are interested in participating in this study please email ldsworkstudy@gmail.com and leave your name and email address. The author of this study will contact you via email to schedule a telephone call to ensure qualification and answer your questions.

Hi everyone!
I’m Amy & I’m 18. I’m very thankful to find yalls post. I am an active LDS memeber. I’m heading up to BYUI in December and I’m SERIOUSLY thinking about careers now & what not.. I want to be a doctor. I also want to be a “Mormon Mom”, go to Relief Society, all that good stuff. (: I don’t want my career to take away from me having a family. I WANT family home evening, to go visting teaching, etc. I just don’t know what to do!! You can talk to other female MD’s about family but they won’t understand what I’m really feeling when I say “I’m LDS.” PLEASE help! Anyone. Thank You. (:
I don’t know how this blog works, if anyone wants to email me directly (it be better) you can email me at
astegall@live.com
Thank you ladies! (:
With Love,
Amy.

Dear Amy –

I am an active LDS woman. I still have one year of residency left and matched in a 2 year fellowship, so I have 3 years of training to go. Then, it is 3 days a week if I get my way, and Heavenly Father usually helps me work things out. I LOVE RELIEF SOCIETY!!!!!!! I was just put in as the 2nd Counselor in the Primary Presidency – I’m pretty sure I’m going to LOVE primary by the time I’m done. We just had FHE with our little one 20 minutes ago. I do my visiting teaching, I listen to conference, we go to the temple. I love the gospel. My husband stays home with our daughter. He is wonderful. It can work and you can be a good example to those around you. Sometimes it is hard to balance everything, but I think that is so with everyone else too, though maybe not to the same extreme. Yes I need to do better at reading my scriptures daily (but so does my husband the stay at home dad, and we are both very committed), yes I have been doing my visiting teaching by phone or letter rather than a visit every month, but there seasons in every life. We do the best we can. Follow the Spirit. Heavenly Father will guide you. Going to medical school was the hardest decision of my entire life, but I know it was the right one. My life has been one miracle after another since that decision. FYI – you should consider ophthalmology. I thought it would be boring when I was a med student. But, I love it, I get to operate and it is very conducive to working part time.

sorry i’m just gettin back with you! thank you for the post. (: it’s great to know that you do things outside of work that’s church related!! usually MD’s live in the hospital. hmm, ophthalmology? i’ll have to look into that one! is it possible to be “part time stay at home mom”? i am afraid my kids will live in day care. and thats SOOO not what i want. i want the “typical” mormon family. (:
-thank you.

P.S.
Carolee,
Did you say 3 days a week?! That’s so amazing!! That means you will on work 3 days a week? haha. Do you work in a family pratice? I was wanting to be a hospitalist (maybe, emergency medicine) I don’t know… I just have a passion for helping people & doing something amazing with my life. <33
Thank you sooo much for your time!
Amy

Amy -Yes, I said 3 days a week.

Also, as far as having a “typical” mormon family… When I was doing my pre-med classes I was in our the Relief Society presidency of my ward. We were having a stake activity that caused me to have a conversation with our Stake RS President. She asked what I was doing in my life – I told her I was applying to med school. She told me of a girl she knew who was a doctor and mother. She told me her husband stayed home with the kids. I did not want that at all. I wanted to stay home with my kids. Now, here I am years later. My husband stays home with the kids. Are we “typical”? no. But there is beauty in diversity. There are lots of men staying home with their children these days – and not only husbands of doctors. Yes I plan on working 3 days a week. Yes I think this is reasonable given my subspecialty. Also, the FP doc I rotated with during med school only worked 3 days a week. I think there are lots of routes for MD’s that would allow this.

Furthermore, I think my situation lends a different perspective to everything I do. Currently, as part of the Primary presidency in my ward – I am in charge of making sure the nursery is covered during church. We just split our ward and we have more callings than people. My experience allows me to realize that the brethern in the ward ARE capable of serving in the nursery. Today – all 3 nursery workers were men. Was there a different flavor in the nursery? Yes. My husband was one who helped and he reported some tossing of footballs and no passing out of the laminated birds and flowers while singing “In the Leafy Tree Tops”. Is this bad? No. It is different. Can children benefit from nurturing from men? Absolutely!!!!!!! And, by the way, when the little nursery kids passed in the hallway while I was out speaking with one of the other sisters in the ward, my daughter didn’t fall apart just because she saw me and couldn’t come climb into my arms. I said hi to her and told her to finish her walk, that I would see her after nursery. She happily went along on her walk. Other kids started crying immediately when they saw their moms. I think this is partly because she is used to being away from me. I don’t think it is a bad thing.

In sacrement meeting today we sang “I’ll go where you want me to go”. I am determined to do this, to go where Heavenly Father needs me and my family. My husband is committed to this as well. There are many ways our talents can be used to bless others. As long as we develop our talents. I think the greatest blessings from my education and work are yet to be realized. I know that Heavenly Father will use my preparation to bless my family and many others. I am so grateful for what lies ahead and excited to see what He unfolds in our lives.

Follow this spirit. Don’t be afraid not to be “typical”. It is ok to follow your path if you are led to do something different than most do. Do I wish I had more time with my family? Yes. Will the time come when I do have more time with my family? Yes. Do I think this current sacrifice is worth it? Yes – or I wouldn’t do it.

I can’t emphasize enough the importance of following the Spirit in these things. You can’t go wrong if you do. And, if you find yourself going down a path you decide later is not for you, you can change. I did. I started out in one residency before I got married. I changed and I am happy and confident that I am on the right path. By the way, I think the first part of my path was right as well, it was just time for a change in course.

Enough for now. Pray. Listen. That is the key. Don’t be afraid to do what you are directed to do. Don’t be afraid to take steps in the darkness if there is no direction. I had to. It has turned out very well. The Lord was there the whole time, I just had to make some decisions on my own.

Carolee,
Thank you! I’ve gotten an inside look to what its reallllly like for a LDS FP. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You!
-Do you mind telling me what some positions in the field that would allow you to work a short week? I know surgeon’s have terrible schedules. FP would be easier, etc. (:
Thank You! You’ve been such a great help!!!!
-Amy

Ophthalmology is my top recommendation. I am biased however. : ) You don’t have any inpatients. You get weekends and holidays off because your work is clinic based. It is a surgical sub-specialty (I didn’t realize this when I was in med school. Also, I thought eyes would be really boring – it’s such a small part of the body – but they are actually fascinating and it is amazing how much there is to know!!!) so if you like to operate (which I love) it is especially ideal. Also, there are very few emergencies. Most of your calls when you are on call can be addressed on the phone. I know of a woman who takes call 2 weeks out of the year because she shares call with all the other opthalmologists in her city. Can’t beat that can you?

Peds, Family Practice, Internal medicine – anything out patient can be taylored to whatever you want it to be.

Even surgery could actually be scaled to a part time thing – but you would likely have to round on your patients daily.

Any hospitalist position would work – you basically punch in and punch out. Same with emergency medicine – but they work nights, weekends, holidays.

There are lots of options that can work.

Carolee,
Thank You for your information! I loved talking with you!! (:

I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I am to have found this post! I’m a mother of four kids ages 2 months to almost 5 years, a wife to a very supportive man, and LDS. My husband and I decided that I should now go back to school to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming an MD. We feel very strongly that this is what we should be doing. My mother, on the other hand, feels that I’m being selfish and a horrible mother for not just giving up my goals and staying home with the kids. She believes I’m going to end up with druggie kids who fall away from the church because I’m not home at all times. This post really helped put me at peace, and is just what I needed to stick to what my hubby and I believe is right for us. Thank you, all!!!

Danielle,
Congratulations!!!! I’m so happy for you!!!

Danielle -

I think it is awesome that you and your husband are going down this path. The best part is that you feel good about it. It will bless your life, the lives of your family and many, many others. I love it when the Spirit directs us. Especially when it is to go against the norm and we know it is right. “…and ye will know that it is my me that ye are led…

I remember having a conversation I had years ago with my sister, a stay at home mom with 5 kids. She too thought it was selfish of me to pursue as I was. I don’t think she would say so now however.

Really – in essence – what you will experience is FAR from being selfish. In fact you will end up sacrificing every ounce of your time. You will not have time for much of the things you love outside of the essentials of family, church and your education/training. You are not going to be serving yourself (I’d love to have an hour to exercise every day etc – no such luxury at this point in my life) you will be serving everyone else. You will have to sacrifice the very basic essentials, like your sleep for one. A lot of what I do is done while my husband and daughter are sleeping.

In the end, your sacrifices will be a huge blessing to many.

My daughter is almost 2. I had a big test this am and had been studying while my husband got her ready for bed. I went in for her prayer and right after she stood up and said “Mom, study” and pointed to her door. She wasn’t sad. I wasn’t sad. I think it is a good example for her. I told her that when she gets older and she needs to study that I’ll be her study buddy. : ) I look forward to that!!!!!

I love the principles taught in the first few chapters of Ether. Jared thought – “what if the Lord would lead us to a promised land” – he asked his brother to ask the Lord and the Lord led them promising “I will go before thee into a land which is choice above all other lands of the earth… and there will I bless thee…” Because you have the desire to work and make yourself something that will allow you to do more good for those around you, you will be blessed. Where you are blessed, your family will be blessed. How many kids get to see their mothers work so hard to accomplish something so difficult? Yours will see it first hand then they will know what they need to do to prepare themselves to be a blessing for others.

Here is a favorite quote of mind from President Brigham Young – As I have often told my sisters in the Female Relief Societies, we have sisters here who, if they had the privilege of studying, would make just as good mathematicians or accountants as any man; and we think they ought to have the privilege to study these branches of knowledge that they may develop the powers with which they are endowed. We believe that women are useful not only to sweep houses, wash dishes, make beds, and raise babies, but that they should stand behind the counter, study law or physic [medicine], or become good book-keepers and be able to do the business in any counting house, and this to enlarge their sphere of usefulness for the benefit of society at large (DBY, 216–17).

Here is the link to the lesson manual where I found it: http://lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-brigham-young/chapter-19-the-relief-society-and-individual-responsibility?lang=eng

The quote above is given under the heading “Sisters should “magnify, promote and honor the life they now possess.”

Good luck as you go down this exciting and challenging path. It will likely be hard, you will likely have times when you wonder if it is worth it. Remember: “All things precious are as difficult as they are rare”. This quote is on a plaque on the campus where I went to medical school. It has definitely been helpful to remember this many times along the path. May you be blessed in every thing you need.