I think it is awesome that you and your husband are going down this path. The best part is that you feel good about it. It will bless your life, the lives of your family and many, many others. I love it when the Spirit directs us. Especially when it is to go against the norm and we know it is right. “…and ye will know that it is my me that ye are led…

I remember having a conversation I had years ago with my sister, a stay at home mom with 5 kids. She too thought it was selfish of me to pursue as I was. I don’t think she would say so now however.

Really – in essence – what you will experience is FAR from being selfish. In fact you will end up sacrificing every ounce of your time. You will not have time for much of the things you love outside of the essentials of family, church and your education/training. You are not going to be serving yourself (I’d love to have an hour to exercise every day etc – no such luxury at this point in my life) you will be serving everyone else. You will have to sacrifice the very basic essentials, like your sleep for one. A lot of what I do is done while my husband and daughter are sleeping.

In the end, your sacrifices will be a huge blessing to many.

My daughter is almost 2. I had a big test this am and had been studying while my husband got her ready for bed. I went in for her prayer and right after she stood up and said “Mom, study” and pointed to her door. She wasn’t sad. I wasn’t sad. I think it is a good example for her. I told her that when she gets older and she needs to study that I’ll be her study buddy. : ) I look forward to that!!!!!

I love the principles taught in the first few chapters of Ether. Jared thought – “what if the Lord would lead us to a promised land” – he asked his brother to ask the Lord and the Lord led them promising “I will go before thee into a land which is choice above all other lands of the earth… and there will I bless thee…” Because you have the desire to work and make yourself something that will allow you to do more good for those around you, you will be blessed. Where you are blessed, your family will be blessed. How many kids get to see their mothers work so hard to accomplish something so difficult? Yours will see it first hand then they will know what they need to do to prepare themselves to be a blessing for others.

Here is a favorite quote of mind from President Brigham Young – As I have often told my sisters in the Female Relief Societies, we have sisters here who, if they had the privilege of studying, would make just as good mathematicians or accountants as any man; and we think they ought to have the privilege to study these branches of knowledge that they may develop the powers with which they are endowed. We believe that women are useful not only to sweep houses, wash dishes, make beds, and raise babies, but that they should stand behind the counter, study law or physic [medicine], or become good book-keepers and be able to do the business in any counting house, and this to enlarge their sphere of usefulness for the benefit of society at large (DBY, 216–17).

Here is the link to the lesson manual where I found it: http://lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-brigham-young/chapter-19-the-relief-society-and-individual-responsibility?lang=eng

The quote above is given under the heading “Sisters should “magnify, promote and honor the life they now possess.”

Good luck as you go down this exciting and challenging path. It will likely be hard, you will likely have times when you wonder if it is worth it. Remember: “All things precious are as difficult as they are rare”. This quote is on a plaque on the campus where I went to medical school. It has definitely been helpful to remember this many times along the path. May you be blessed in every thing you need.

Peds, Family Practice, Internal medicine – anything out patient can be taylored to whatever you want it to be.

Even surgery could actually be scaled to a part time thing – but you would likely have to round on your patients daily.

Any hospitalist position would work – you basically punch in and punch out. Same with emergency medicine – but they work nights, weekends, holidays.

There are lots of options that can work.

Also, as far as having a “typical” mormon family… When I was doing my pre-med classes I was in our the Relief Society presidency of my ward. We were having a stake activity that caused me to have a conversation with our Stake RS President. She asked what I was doing in my life – I told her I was applying to med school. She told me of a girl she knew who was a doctor and mother. She told me her husband stayed home with the kids. I did not want that at all. I wanted to stay home with my kids. Now, here I am years later. My husband stays home with the kids. Are we “typical”? no. But there is beauty in diversity. There are lots of men staying home with their children these days – and not only husbands of doctors. Yes I plan on working 3 days a week. Yes I think this is reasonable given my subspecialty. Also, the FP doc I rotated with during med school only worked 3 days a week. I think there are lots of routes for MD’s that would allow this.

Furthermore, I think my situation lends a different perspective to everything I do. Currently, as part of the Primary presidency in my ward – I am in charge of making sure the nursery is covered during church. We just split our ward and we have more callings than people. My experience allows me to realize that the brethern in the ward ARE capable of serving in the nursery. Today – all 3 nursery workers were men. Was there a different flavor in the nursery? Yes. My husband was one who helped and he reported some tossing of footballs and no passing out of the laminated birds and flowers while singing “In the Leafy Tree Tops”. Is this bad? No. It is different. Can children benefit from nurturing from men? Absolutely!!!!!!! And, by the way, when the little nursery kids passed in the hallway while I was out speaking with one of the other sisters in the ward, my daughter didn’t fall apart just because she saw me and couldn’t come climb into my arms. I said hi to her and told her to finish her walk, that I would see her after nursery. She happily went along on her walk. Other kids started crying immediately when they saw their moms. I think this is partly because she is used to being away from me. I don’t think it is a bad thing.

In sacrement meeting today we sang “I’ll go where you want me to go”. I am determined to do this, to go where Heavenly Father needs me and my family. My husband is committed to this as well. There are many ways our talents can be used to bless others. As long as we develop our talents. I think the greatest blessings from my education and work are yet to be realized. I know that Heavenly Father will use my preparation to bless my family and many others. I am so grateful for what lies ahead and excited to see what He unfolds in our lives.

Follow this spirit. Don’t be afraid not to be “typical”. It is ok to follow your path if you are led to do something different than most do. Do I wish I had more time with my family? Yes. Will the time come when I do have more time with my family? Yes. Do I think this current sacrifice is worth it? Yes – or I wouldn’t do it.

I can’t emphasize enough the importance of following the Spirit in these things. You can’t go wrong if you do. And, if you find yourself going down a path you decide later is not for you, you can change. I did. I started out in one residency before I got married. I changed and I am happy and confident that I am on the right path. By the way, I think the first part of my path was right as well, it was just time for a change in course.

Enough for now. Pray. Listen. That is the key. Don’t be afraid to do what you are directed to do. Don’t be afraid to take steps in the darkness if there is no direction. I had to. It has turned out very well. The Lord was there the whole time, I just had to make some decisions on my own.